Winter wonderland madness

Walking to school on a dry day takes about 15 minutes if you include a quick stop at the corner halfway there to wait for other kids to meet up with us.

Walking to school on a wet day still takes about 15 minutes if you add an additional 5 minutes to help them dress appropriately.

Walking to school on a snowy day takes about 25 minutes if you allow at least 10 minutes of dressing time prior to leaving the house.

Walking to school on a snowy day after it’s been snowing all night and the sidewalks are not plowed takes about 35 minutes plus requires about 15 minutes of dressing time prior to that if by dressing you understand that the wet snowsuits were put in the dryer in the basement the night before and you forgot to take them out and have them ready for the kids when you start the first phase of “GET DRESSED NOW OR WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE” and they say “BUT WE DON’T HAVE OUR SNOWSUUUUIIIITSSS”.

Walking to school on a snowy, wintery day where every snowbank beckons to be climbed on, or be pushed into, where every fluff of untouched snow requires snow angles imprints to be made in, where the pull to turn back and kick a particularly large piece of snowy ice keeps you from moving forward with the intention of arriving  at school on time is….

maddening.

Turning into a drill sergeant does nothing. Pointing to yellow spots on snow banks only encourages inappropriate behaviour. Abandoning them by crossing the street and walking alone in peace on the other side is ineffective as now they pay even less attention to cars driving by precociously close to the sidewalks, splattering them with grey slush.

Arriving at school on time is nothing short of a miracle. So far we have managed to make it by the time the bell rings. But at least one of us is crying, and at least two of us are soaking wet.

There is a reason why I have a stack of empty wine bottles on my driveway.

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