I’m a Next Generation fan. I loved loved loved that show when I was in University. Until they made it all about violence, around the time that Desert Storm was happening. All of a sudden, it was about the ‘all American hero” and chasing bad guys and always, always winning, raising to the top of all evil.

The exploration, the science, was gone. I stopped watching, and soon, the show went off the air.

Now suddenly we have Space TV, a channel that we didn’t have before and that plays Star Trek the Next Generation at 4 pm every day. The trusty old VCR allows me to tape the shows, and alas, the boy is crashed on the couch with his cold and watching episode Masks. This episode features the robot Data in the main role, and Benjamin is thrilled!

* * *

DH and I had a weekend getaway sans kids. We went to glorious Buffalo (lol) for some shopping and a night in a hotel with fine dining. We met friends of ours there who do this regularly, and although DH and I are not shoppers at all, the trip away with good company and good food did us a lot of good!

We ended up shopping at an outdoor place and got a few summer items; he for his hunting hobby and I for the quick-dry, comfort aspect of staying home with mini-athletes. I’ll be walking/swimming/hiking/picnicking and biking with those two, I needed clothes that were not cotton, which absorbs sweat and doesn’t keep the skin dry. The quick-dry athletic wear is comfortable and cool, and I bought myself a whole bunch of tops and bottoms.

On the way back to the border we were thoroughly unimpressed with the dumpy, industrial look of the north eastern New York State area just around Niagara Falls and I suggested we drive home along Canada’s wine route toward Niagara-on-the-Lake once we cross back into Canada (I realize New York State has some beautiful spots, but northern Buffalo is not one of them.). Canada’s Niagara area is so beautiful, along the river, past wineries, into quaint little villages, we ended up stopping and having dinner at an old-fashioned hotel. Sitting on the terrace, looking at the spring blooms, absorbing the atmosphere of a long-holiday weekend, it was a lovely way to end the day.

I didn’t bring along my camera….but this is what the town looked like. So cute.

* * *

By the time I got home I witnessed how mom and Sonja took care of my veggie garden. My salad stuff was growing, and I was happy! Until the next morning, when I saw this:

Could have been a rabbit…sigh.  Now I gotta get me a gate. Some chicken wire, or stakes, or something. BLAH. They did not eat my newly sprouted asparagus though…

The blooms on the Bleeding Heart and the Forget-me-nots however are absolutely gorgeous!

And then I lost the girl. Except, she wasn’t really lost…she discovered tree climbing and when I say tree climbing I mean she climbs almost to the top. That girl will be the end of me! (Next time I’ll have her wear a helmet.).

So this is how the kick-off to summer started in our neck of the woods. Today is cool and dark-ish though, and I have a headache which usually announces some weather. Given the huge system that went through Tornado Alley recently, I’m not surprised at how unstable the weather system is even up here…but we are definitely done with winter.

Knock on wood.

Once upon a time I had another baby who refused to sleep without me and didn’t sleep through the night with or without me for 4 and a half years. Now she sleeps through the night every time I tuck her in.

It took me months to try and get back onto a normal sleep schedule.

I still don’t have a normal sleep schedule.

By 7:30 pm I am so tired I don’t want to be up. I don’t want to talk or play with children. I don’t want to have important conversations. I want to lie down with a book or a stupid sitcom and go to sleep when my eyes give out.

This often happens by about 8:30, sometimes 9 pm.

I try to stay up longer. I really do. I want to enjoy the spring warmth and sit back and relax. I want to have adult time with DH and not be asleep like a kid when the sun is still setting.

On one hand, sleep is good. My naturopath doctor says get sleep when you’re tired. So I do. But I feel like I miss out on life.

On the other hand, I now wake up at 3ish or 4ish am and cannot for the life of me get  back to sleep.

My life begins at 4 am.

By 6:30 am I am tired and want to go to sleep and if I don’t get coffee immediately then the entire household falls apart and everyone will be late.

I manage till mid-afternoon. By mid-afternoon I want to have a nap. Only I can’t nap because I have a chatty 5 year old who wants to play and talk and go to the park…

By the time dinner is done and the late afternoon/early evening activities are over I’m ready for bed.

And the cycle begins anew.

Sleep will remain an issue for me despite the fact that I no longer have any babies around.

This weekend we’re spending an evening with another couple. Dinner reservations were made for 7:30 pm. Perhaps I can start my cycle of going to bed a bit later this weekend. I sure would like to spend the summer evenings out of doors, rather than in bed zonked out like a zombie.

Well that’s not entirely true. I have some grey on the other side but not so much so that I would need to colour my hair to hide it.

My left side of my head is, or would be if I let it, white. White and grey in varying shades.

Weird.

My mother has coloured her hair at home since before I can even remember. She took after her dad who was white basically since he was an adult.

I started greying in my 30s but didn’t colour my hair till my late 30s and now, in my mid-40s, I have to make the effort every six weeks.

The pros of colouring one’s hair at home with a store-bought box is of course the cost. For a person like me who wears her hair long-ish, it’s quite a bit cheaper to simply take a morning when everyone is out of the house and dedicate that time to colouring my hair.

The other pro is convenience. I can sit, walk, or do an errand (clean the sink or toilet for example) while the colour does its thing on my head. I can pay bills. I can do stuff…but then other things happen and the cons suddenly appear to be more prevalent.

The biggest con is probably the mess. We have a tiny bathroom with a white sink, white tile and a white door. The door is open when I do the hair colouring because the fumes are quite strong (and sometimes in the depth of winter the window is frozen shut). So the door is directly behind me when I apply the colour. It never fails that a certain amount of colour splatters on the door. Sometimes I don’t even see it right away and by the time I do the stain is so set there is no way of cleaning it up, even with an entire bottle of bleach.

The mess also translates onto my skin. I have to diligently wipe away all the visible stains I can see when looking into the mirror immediately after the colour has been applied, and then make the effort to reach spots behind my head, like the neck, back of arms, etc.

(I mentioned my hair is long. This causes the odd strand of coloured hair to colour parts of my upper body, which in the summer time when I wear tank tops makes me look like I have odd-shaped freckles or moles all over my torso).

The entire thing is annoying.

As I type this I sit here with freshly coloured (and still wet) hair. My bathroom door has a gigantic longish stain on the wall which, to the untrained eye, may look like smeared poop.

I called DH up from downstairs to show him what happens when I do this at home, and announced that we’ll have to find somewhere an extra 60 bucks (or however much it costs) every six weeks or so to get my hair coloured at the salon.

Because I AM DONE with home hair colour systems.

The bad thing about the early summer weather weather we’re having is someone has to spend time in the kitchen and make the salads. The kitchen is INSIDE the house. I’d rather be OUTSIDE…

But alas, I was happy to have salads ready to eat whenever we felt hungry for the rest of the day. I figured since I’m chopping veg anyway I may as well do it all at the same time, get it done, and then head outside.

Here are the ingredients and methods:

Couscous salad

Pour half a cup of Whole wheat couscous in a bowl.
Add boiling water, just enough to barely cover the couscous.
Let stand for a few minuets, chop your veggies in the meantime.
Chop red onion, cherry tomatoes and cucumbers (with peel).
Fluff couscous with a fork, add veggies and toss.
Pour the juice of about half a small lemon and 1-2 tbsp olive oil over it, toss again.
Season with sea salt to taste
Sprinkle chopped herbs (chives, arugula, parsley) and toss. Serve at room temperature or cold.

Kale and Onion with Navy bean salad

Pour some olive oil in a shallow pan (cast iron).
Wash and chop a couple of handfuls of kale, place in pan with chopped red onion.
Squeeze juice of half a lemon on top, toss and cook on medium high, covered, until wilted and onions soft.
Add a handful of cooked navy beans (I pre-cooked mine, but you can use canned beans, just rinse them well to get the salt off).
Pour into dish and season to taste with sea salt and pepper.
Serve cold or lukewarm.

Greek salad

Chop feta cheese into bite-sized chunks (I use Greek sheep-milk feta).
Chop cucumbers and cherry tomatoes, toss with feta.
Snip chives on top.
Season with dry oregano, sea salt and course pepper, olive oil, and a touch of white balsamic vinegar.

Herb and Navy bean salad

Chop spring salad mix, or fresh herbs and place in bowl.
Add a handful or two of cooked (or canned) navy beans (rinse salt off if from can).
Add chopped vegetables like cherry tomatoes.
Pour olive oil and white balsamic vinegar on top, season with sea salt and pepper.
Toss and enjoy cold.

50 lbs of toys. HA.

They are currently in the back of the van in bags, covered with a towel, because god knows if those kids notice them back there all hell will break loose. So…tomorrow, another trip to Goodwill.

Just try to hold me back.

I also vacuumed and bleached the wall behind the fridge and the fridge top and sides, the baseboards and the spots on the wall waist-high and lower. (The wall above waist height was spot-less. Huh.) Then I vacuumed and mopped the kitchen floor and half the hallway floor. Twice. Because – ick. High time. Will have to do the rest after I pick up the kid (or after blogging. Ha.)

I am on a roll. Just try to stop me.

In unrelated news, he’s doing the taxes. They’re due, when? Tomorrow? This last-minute thing he’s so comfortable doing with all things I consider VERY IMPORTANT (subjective perspective, you understand) I’m still trying to get used to. Every year he assures me ‘they’ll get done’ and alas, every year the do. Except, every year he does them just a tad later than the previous year. Every year for 12 years we always manage to make the deadline and get a refund. But…

I stress about this for weeks leading up to the deadline. I can’t help myself.

It’s hard for me, this doing things at the last minute. Then again, I’m purging out-grown toys 2 years later than I should have…

Seems it’s just another day at casa Javaline.

On the one hand, I can’t wait for both kids to be at school full-day so I can pursue my writing career. I seem to be most creative whenever I have umpteen things on the go and right now, with one or the other kid always around, I can’t seem to find two consecutive minutes to jot down my thoughts in a concrete, logical manner.

On the other hand I fear I’ll dry up completely as soon as their gone. This has happened to me before and most people who blog understand that this is part of it. Blog fodder exists in every nook and cranny of a parent’s life, but….sometimes it just won’t come to you.

I have an idea in my head about writing a book. I have the title, and ideas, fully formed, and I can go back to this blog for oodles of fodder to help me organize the chapters.

I itch to get started…except I can’t today. Both kids are home and although watching tv (whatever, sue me), I know that the silence won’t last long.

Plus I am sick. Ben, too is sick, and the reason he’s home in the middle of the afternoon (although he is not so sick anymore, and I could have, theoretically, sent him to school in the afternoon). In my defense, I’m happy to not have to rush off again today. There has been so much rushing off to one thing or another for the past 8 months I simply welcome the chance to not have to go anywhere. On purpose, I mean. It’s not like I’m a prisoner in my home, I can choose to leave any time I feel like it.

It’s the “oh crap it’s 3:30 already, gotta go get a kid” thing, or “we’re having dinner at 4:30, hockey starts in an hour” thing that I don’t have to deal with today.

AND I LIKE IT.

Anyway, next year the kids will be in school all day but I know for a fact that I won’t be able to dedicate all of the free time to write my book. I will have to get some sort of paying gig to supplement the mounting expenses that come with raising competitive athletes. I will have a busier schedule with activities than I did this year for the simple fact that Sonja will no longer be doing her activities in the afternoon while Ben is still in school. THAT was the nice thing about half-day Kindergarten – she got to do her gymnastics and swim lessons then. But with her starting grade 1, that will no longer be the case.

So already, my child-free time will be occupied with meal planning to accommodate the activity schedules. Meal planning includes grocery shopping, and prepping…it’s time consuming. I will have to be extremely organized.

Don’t know if I can do that. Something is bound to fall down.

Then there’s the whole moving thing. His job is officially starting at the new location in January and the union is still battling out the details of how this will work for the employees. Currently we have a house that needs major cosmetic TLC and the time is simply not available. Or, I should say, I lack the propulsion to focus on painting walls and tearing up broken tiles. I’d rather sit here and plan my book…or finally get outside and putter around out there. It’s been a LONG winter and I crave sunshine and warmth…

I’ll keep notes, for now, and see what happens come September.

Ben in Centre at puck drop, # 87

I was going to get the brakes on my bike fixed and take the kids on little excursions around the lake paths.

I was going to have picnic lunches on the way home from Kindergarten and let her play at the playground.

I was going to take Molly to the leash free dog park and have Sonja associate with her four-legged friends.

I was going to finish the basement unpacking after the endless renos.

And then I woke up sick.

If it hadn’t been for the complete lack of apples or anything remotely looking like produce in this house, I would have leisurely walked my kids to school today, leisurely walked home, made coffee and sat on the back porch with a cup in hand looking at my new magazines.

But I had to grocery shop. And the pile of laundry is starting to smell funny. So I had to get up, swallow some oregano oil (and extra strength Advil, thank you very much), and get my ass in gear.

Last night was the last hockey game. He’s been on the ice for 8 months. He’s had a great season and a shelf full of awards to remind him of that. But last night was the final game, finally.

They played their best game ever and the final score was 1-0, with our team losing. It was heart-breaking but we are so proud. They have been on the ice since September, and with this particular Select team since November. Lasting friendships have been made, and promises to see each other in a few short months back at the same rink were uttered at the end of the undressing/redressing our little players.

We are on the fence whether to put him in the 4 on 4 Sunday night hockey for the summer. Currently we are leaning toward not to enroll him. He has so many interests: baseball, tennis, marshal arts. He wants to bike. He wants to go to the lake. He wants to swim. He wants to hang out with his friends.

He wants to play hockey, too, but he doesn’t seem overly upset when we tell him “we’ll see”.

“We’ll see “is such an ambiguous parenting term.

I for one am perfectly content to leave hockey behind till September and embark on new hockey again in the fall. This time, possibly with Sonja in Tyke, too. (We’ll see).

Summer is about to start and I have a lawn chair beckoning me. It’s been great to be a hockey mom. I’m sure it’ll be just as much fun again.

I made a comment on someone’s post. The someone was a neighbour whose child is in Sonja’s class. We talk casually to each other in person, and now, occasionally, in facebook.

It’s kind of neat to have neighbours as your facebook friends.

So she said something and I commented. Another person who knows her commented as well, and I noticed her name was the same as my maiden name. I asked my neighbour in facebook who this woman was and she said they used to work together.

The woman with my maiden name saw my question and responded in that same thread. We briefly discussed our fathers’ histories, and another woman who was friended with my neighbour chimed in.

It’s this second woman who then sent me a friend request.

I’m completely stunned.

Confused.

Why in the world would I accept this woman whom I have never met, have never heard of, as a facebook friend?

It’s just so…weird.

Her connection to me, in her mind, is the fact that we Canadians have fathers who are from Italy. But this woman who wants to be my facebook friend doesn’t have my maiden name, nor is her dad from the same place as my dad. Her dad is from the same place as the other woman, the one who shares my maiden name.

It’s just so….wacky.

Anyway, I ignored it. My facebook page is in my real name (and not associated with Javamom or Javaline). I usually only accept people whom I know in real life (and yes, this includes neighbours). I don’t accept random people who may know my brother for example, and therefore think I should be friends with them because I’m his sister, kind of thing. That’s not me. I only ever accepted one person whom I’ve never met in life, only because we have a somewhat personal email relationship (you know who you are, Australia). I’m ok with that, but I’m not ok with just adding random people to my list of facebook friends just so I can show everyone how popular I am. (I’m not popular. I have 78 friends in facebook, about half who are either family or people I went to school with in Switzerland when I was a child).

I have 78 friends in facebook. Compared to some people, this may seem like a tiny number. But to me, facebook is not about popularity. I actually hid several people I’m friended with in facebook not because I want to unfriend them, but because their endless drivel over the games they play there is cluttering up my wall. (I don’t play games).

Facebook is fun. I chat with my European friend (you know who you are, Germany), I marvel at the pictures family sends me of my cousins and their kids, I laugh, or commiserate, with my neighbour’s quirky comments. Facebook is fun, and manageable, with my intimate little number, and I want to keep it that way.

Allow me to explain.

I’m coming home during a freezing-rain, rush-hour evening. Just dropped kiddie off at a birthday party and a lasagna and glass of wine was waiting for me. The boys were out at hockey so I was especially looking forward to a quiet dinner without the usual chaos.

I’m driving on a main road that passes a college and many stores. There are street cars on the one lane which are stopping every few feet to let more passengers on. The college must have just finished class because hordes of people are standing there, getting pounded by ice pellets and slush splashes by inconsiderate drivers. I’m driving along keeping alert to all the possible situations that I know are bound to happen.

I’m a city girl, I have experience.

I’m behind a car who slowed down to an oncoming traffic light. There is one car ahead of him. The light is red for us, but green for the pedestians. The light changes and we cars are now able to drive.

The car directly ahead of me stops moving. I look up and the light is still green. WTF? I wanna go home…

A jaywalker stepped into the road and he stops for her. So nice and polite, isn’t it?

I’m thinking “but the light is green?” and “why didn’t she walk across with the others when her light was green, just a few feet away?”…

But no. She has to jaywalk because she is more important than the rest of us and we must all stop the flow of traffic to accommodate her importance.

I wait. She does some deliberate thanking motion to the car who stopped for her, and continues walking directly into oncoming traffic.

She narrowly gets hit by a fast-moving car.

In the car’s defense, and really he was so lucky she didn’t get hurt, he didn’t see her. Did I mention it was rush hour? Did I mention street cars?

That woman was way out of line. She not only put herself in danger, she put all of us in danger. The car coming at her from the opposite way had the right of way. Luckily he was alert and able to swerve in such a way that he did not cause an accident on his side of the road. She, the idiot jaywalker, could have, had there been an accident, caused an accident with or without getting hurt herself, not to mention she would have been responsible for a major delay for many law-abiding people who simply wanted to get home to have dinner with their families.

She is damn lucky she was able to avoid getting hurt.

She is damn lucky to have avoided a major traffic situation.

She is an idiot.

In related news, I broke my wine glass when I got home. Lucky for me, it was still empty at the time it broke.

He plays two games this Saturday. One at 8 am and the other at 6 pm.

Two weeks ago a ref decided to not blow his whistle when one of our kids got elbowed and went down. The coach alerted the ref who made the idiotic choice not to call the penalty. The ref ignored him. Our kid was still down, not getting up. The coach alerted the ref again, and the ref threw him out of the building.

The kids lost that game.

The boy is ok. He was stunned when he got elbowed, which is why it took him a bit longer than usual to get back up again. But a week later he was back on the ice. He is ok.

Ben is [still] spooked.

This second tournament where this incident occurred came up at the last minute. They call it a 4-week long last gasp tournament. I wish we didn’t participate in it.

Like I said, I’m a horrible parent.

Ben says he doesn’t want to play that team again. Not surprising…but in competitive sports, you don’t get a choice of whom to play. You play against whomever, and when you win and go into finals, you play other ‘best’ teams. They, Ben’s team, are one of the better ones, and they are now playing against even better teams. They are learning that sometimes, you simply have to take the loss and use it to help you play better next time.

They got hammered.

I wish hockey was finished. I am tired, and I get the feeling Ben is tired. New, spring-y things are happening and hockey just seems like it’s going on and on and on.

And on.

Because I’m a horrible terrible parent I will not be sad if they don’t advance to the semi finals in the original competitive league. If they win, and it could go either way, I will be the super-proud-hockey-mom bragging about it every which way.

If they win, I will no longer be a horrible terrible parent, but a wishy-washy, possibly hormonal mom.

Whatever. Give me a break. I’m trying to hold it together here…

Hopefully our coach got through to whomever is in charge of unfair refs who let kids get hurt on the ice and got his point across. Although there should not be, theoretically, any contact in kids’ hockey in Canada (our kids are 7 and 8), there is going to be some residual contact by the sheer type of sport it is. Even soccer, or basketball players, will eventually crash into each other during their high-speed chase of a ball….which is why we HAVE refs WITH WHISTLES who can then STOP play and allow the down kid to get up again.

Sheesh.

End of my rant.