Couple days ago 

Sick infant.
Not a lot of sleep.
Relatives coming for Xmas play at daycare, but popping into our house for dinner first.
No one specifically said they’ll bring food, so I threw some chili together into the crockpot in the morning.
Cans of tomatos on top shelf.
Can’t reach shelf.
Get chair to climb to reach can.
Can drops first on my head, then on the floor.
Assess head. Head is ok.
Can is dent.
Find can opener.
Try to open can around dented part with can opener.
Cut thumb in a very awkward spot in the process.
Pour can with dented lid into crockpot, fish lid out, cursing under my breath.
Blood dripping on floor.
While bleeding to death, infant starts to cry, then cough.
Was planning on washing hair in shower today, now got this cut and blood and 6 bandaids on it.
Will cause me some grief in shower.
Must still wash hair (trust me).
Infant self-feeds in carseat in steamy bathroom. There’s a trick to this, and I had to help her readjust occasionally while dripping on the bathroom floor every so often.
Now also have small pond to mop up on bathroom floor.
Will not be easy with newly acquired disability.
Realize after I step out into the pond that it’s almost time to pick up tot at daycare.
Figure out a way to get it all together somehow in time to leave the house with baby and myself weather-appropriately dressed, albeit with wet hair.
Don wool hat on head to keep wet hair from freezing.
Pack up like a mule, get to car, and realize that the base for the infant carseat is not fastened into the car with the seatbelt. (Base was in other car)
Put baby back in house.
Deal with base of carseat while pondering if I should just toss it into the trunk.
Trunk full of stroller and other crap.
Consider making spiked coffee to numb the pain in thumb.
No time to make coffee, much less spike it.
Finish attaching base to car.
Bring baby back to out to car.
Want to go lock front door.
Can’t find car keys.
Look high and low for keys in the hallway and near the front door while keeping an eye on the car where baby is already waiting for me (asleep and not screaming, than you very much).
Clock is ticking.
I have 5 minutes to get to the daycare which is 7 minutes away.
Debating if I should take baby back into the house while continuing looking for car keys.
Have to pee. Hold it in.
Finally find car keys on top of car.
Ask me another day. I don’t care.
Drive to daycare and pick up tot.
Continue on with the rest of the day.


I think I have to get my thumb ambutated.


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