Entering a new life chapter

Yesterday I saw a newborn baby. A brand new, seven week old baby boy with tiny feet and huge alert eyes and making a suckling motion that looked oh so familiar.

I saw this tiny person…

…and I felt…

nothing.

Well, no, I didn’t feel nothing. But I didn’t feel what I would have felt half a year ago. That yearning for a baby, that pleasant pain in the depth of my female interiors. That aaawww, I need one too kind of deep emotional desire, that wasn’t what I felt.

That desire has run its course.

This week.

ha

* * *

I have noticed a few other things about myself recently as I’m purging books and other stuff out of this house. I noticed that my territorial need for hanging on to outgrown baby toys, and clothes, and those itsy bitsy cutsie shoes, has waned.

I used to look at that stuff and think “no way, I’m not getting rid of that! I need it! I may need it! I want it!”.

Now? I look around our little house and think “stuff is coming into my house and I can’t control it”. Lovely, generous people are giving us presents. And stuffed toys. And books. And more stuff…

I no longer feel attached to most outgrown or outplayed things anymore. Just get it out of my house is my new motto.

* * *

With the toddlergirl almost done toilet training, even the diaper situation has improved drastically. This means that there is less garbage too. Oh, there’s more laundry, but I expected that. But with her newly achieved skill (it IS a skill, of sorts, to be able to control ones own bodily fluids, no?) I have found myself thinking more along the lines of “great, a new chapters has begun, I’m looking forward to doing things with my child(ren) that will stimulate me on a new level too” as opposed to “here we go again”.

*sigh*

A new chapter has indeed begun. And it’s not even September, which in these parts is usually the official start to new beginnings.

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3 thoughts on “Entering a new life chapter

  1. Well… I saw a little girl this morning (a few months old) and what a cutie… but now that you mention it: I certainly did not feel “that pleasant pain in the depth of my female interiors” (where do you come up with these descriptions??? Perfect… and it was absent today!).

    Wish I had your energy to purge. A girlfriend is moving back to Canada in January and today she opened an auction on facebook where she created a new profile and set up pictures and wrote the description and price for each article to the proper picture… and she is purging!

    What a great idea (I opted in for her cutlery… we NEVER have enough! and for the cereal bowls because my kids have busted a few recently…).

    I am drifting.

    Point is this: I love her idea on how to purge her stuff.

    And that has me thinking of a new idea… (sometimes I wish I could turn my brain off)l

  2. Same down here… all signs of yearning for more offspring is gone! All baby paraphernalia also GONE! Very liberating!

    Have even hit a record three nights in a row without being woken! Woo hoo! Bring on the new chapter.

  3. Had my two boys, that is it for me! I have no desire to go back to sleepless nights, screaming, nappy changing.etc. Your right about moving onto a new chapter where you can start to enjoy doing things with the kids rather than for the kids all the time.

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