Moms get separation anxiety too

Sonja is finally ready to have a sleepover at her grandparents’ place again. She’s been talking about it and we decided that this coming Friday to Saturday would be a good time for her to go.

Everyone is looking forward to it.

My mom already prepared her toys that she likes. She has plans to do things with her.  Maybe even take her swimming at the pool where Benjamin likes to go when he’s there for a sleepover.

My dad is looking forward to taking her to the little mall up the street to buy newspapers. They have their thing they do with going to a playground, and then inside the mall she gets to ride one of those riding toys that you put a coin into.

Her dad is looking forward to having to only deal with one kid on Saturday especially because Ben’s booked up with music lessons and a Halloween party. This gives dad a break because while Benjamin is occupied with his activities, he doesn’t have to entertain the girl child. (Not that he minds, quite the contrary, but it does provide a bit of a relief not having to coordinate two little rascals for a change…)

Benjamin is looking forward to it because…he’s a 5 year old kid with a younger sister. They love each other, they play great together, they miss each other when they are not together, but they enjoy one-on-one time without the sibling around as much, if not more, because those kinds of days do not occur often. Lol.

And me?

I have separation anxiety. Horrible dreams. Even though I am ready for a little break, from the noise level, from the non-stop activities, from the endless chatter. I’m looking forward to it,  but I’m also not.

Why? I do not know why…

Friday is a mostly normal day, but I can get groceries done without kids in tow. Or something. Saturday during the day I’ll be at my photography job. I won’t be around to organize the pre-Saturday morning craziness. Which is kind of nice too.

But.

I won’t have the pitter-patter of little toddler feet wake me up in the middle of the night when she sneaks into my bed for a cuddle. Because she won’t be home. My baby won’t be home with me where she belongs…

I think I’m conditioned now to accept that little snuggle.  How am I going to sleep through the night without her?

I feel very weird.

But she’s still going. So there.

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