Ending with a big bang

First day of school ended with a bang. Literally.

A couple of years ago Ben slipped and fell backwards on some steps in a pool observation area while Sonja was doing a swim lesson and he cut his head open. He needed staples in his head. I remember thinking in the hospital waiting room that she will be next, at some point.

Sonja is 4 and a maniac. Her brother is a maniac. Last night after driving both of us mental with their pent-up energy (the entire day was wet and wetter), they managed somehow to have an accident outside and she came in with blood dripping from her head. With her blond, thin hair it was easier to see where the cut was than with Ben’s thick, dark hair, but I still couldn’t figure out where it was oozing from because there was quite a bit of blood. And she had it streaked down half her face. Had to stick her in the shower to find the cut.

No staples needed. She did cause a lot of fuss and oh so much drama, but a gauze piece held in place with a large bandage wrapped around her head, plus a few drops of pain meds (which weren’t really necessary but she insisted and I was just fed up with it all) helped lull her to go to bed and go to sleep.

I am dismal at my parenting these days. My lack of focus on rules, expectations, and enforcing consequences will be the end of me if I don’t get it together soon.

Also reflecting on, and explaining to the more responsible and reliable kid why this accident was a direct result of them both disobeying me hopefully will help me get organized in that department. Ben was very mature about it after I took away the ‘whose fault it was’. No one was at fault except maybe me. I didn’t enforce the rule and they made a choice that wasn’t safe which in turn shows me (and Ben, he gets it now) that certain privileges have now been removed again. There is a lack of trust issue here.

Oh he tried to debate with me at first but surprisingly I managed to remain calm. He tried to blame her, the other boy, the other boy’s bike which Ben was riding that had failing brakes, every conceivable thing. I removed it all from the scenario. I managed to talk about safety, and choices. I managed to get through his head. I could see it, that he understood.

But he too has limits and even though I would have liked to continue this conversation with him, when he was stuffed full of information he had to process, he started getting stressed. So I had to leave it. But I am hoping it was enough.

He felt bad that his sister had a bleeding head. He remembered how painful the staples were in his own head.

This is not a bad thing. Remembering.

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