Once when I was tired of this blog I started a new one. I wrote a nice little article about empty threats. Because it’s a topic that comes up no matter how hard I try not to let it.
I admit it, I utter empty threats.
Actually, I’m getting pretty good at saving face. I even once in a while remind DH to not use a threat if he knows he’ll go back on his word. But then one day, when he told Ben that Friday night select hockey practice is canceled due to behaviour, I took him aside and said ‘do you really mean it?’.
Ben heard it. He said: “you guys won’t cancel hockey because you spent 400 bucks on select”.
That was it. That was the turning point we needed.
Guess who didn’t go to hockey on Friday. And not going to hockey on Friday didn’t even really happen because of that comment, that comment was just the straw on the camel’s back.
It was a week-long struggle to get him back on track with his behaviour.
Friday his dad was out all day and we didn’t know when to expect him. Hockey was at 7. By 6:00 he wanted to know when we were going to hockey. I said ‘remember, I told you I’m not taking you’.
I chose my words carefully as I did not want to get into an argument with DH about the so-called canceled hockey. I knew I wasn’t taking him but I wasn’t sure if DH will have the heart to not take him. It was his threat, this time, and I wanted to keep it in his corner.
Well, DH showed up right at 6:30 and we all sat and had dinner and chatted, and then Ben said he was ready to go to hockey.
“We’re not going”, his dad said.
It hurt me to hear this. I know for a fact that it hurt DH more than it hurt our little 7 year old. And the little 7 year old cried.
He wanted to know if he could go to the game on Saturday. We said it was up to him.
There was a lot of processing going on after the boy finished his crying. And DH and I left him to it. Neither of us was happy, but the day has finally arrived.
Maybe this is the one thing that matters the most to this boy. Hockey, and select.
We ended up having a lovely weekend with our son. We celebrated my dad’s 75th birthday, the kids drew and decorated for him, we ate and laughed…and Ben got to go to his game at 5. He had a great game. He scored a hat trick. Actually, he scored 4 goals in one game, and his team won 7-5.
He has a new trophy and he has been a pleasure to be around.
Things might be looking up…
Now if I could just get my computer back up and running, and get back to work…