Some interesting developments have occurred this weekend. Developments that brings my current path in life to a fork in my road.
A fork in our road, actually.
Although the current developments do not truly surprise me, it does put my frame of mind, which can be best described as erratic, into a state of shock. This new reality is something I will have to come to terms with somehow, and this is shocking to me.
I was ready for a change.
The bottom line?
We are not moving out of the city.
Not now, at least.
In some ways I feel relieved that it’s finally been verbalized. I got the feeling for some time that DH has less interest to make such a move after a year of avoiding talking about it in great detail. For him, it’s practical to stay in the city. He has a list of reasons that resonate with me, even though I can counter all those reasons with a pretty good argument for the opposite.
But I get it. He can’t do this now, can’t think about such a big leap now. Or in the near future.
So in the meantime, I have to re-evaluate what is positive about living in this neighbourhood (and there are many, many things), in this house (which is doable but may cause me semi-regular grief), and within such great proximity to various family and friends. This too affects our dynamic (in a good way).
I say to myself:
A fork in the road may stop you in your tracks momentarily, but eventually you will choose a path, with an end result in mind. You will work toward the success of this end result with varying degrees of adjustments along the way but you will also take solace in the fact that you may find yourself at yet another fork in that road while on that path.
The path of life is full of surprises.
Either way, we are at another milestone moment in our life, and so I begin by taking one more step toward the middle of the fork in the road. Decision time doesn’t have to happen today, I can prevail here for a bit, at my proverbial fork in the road.