Should a mom teach family members “how to be me”?

Ha. As if…

Sometimes, I fantasize about what I feel life around here should be like. I have this image in my head where everything has a place, everyone is doing what they’re supposed to be doing, everyone is mutually respectful of one another…

As if…

I am rarely, if ever, absent from home or from the kids. I plan my stuff around when the kids are in school, and I have to admit that my life has become easier with both kids in school full time. I do get a few hours of family-free time and some days I cocoon myself in my four walls and shut off everything so I can hear myself think. In return I am better able to handle their incessant noise when they do come home, and even enjoy it. They are active, healthy and mostly happy kids…and I don’t want to miss out on their quirkiness. It’s been a long road, but  I think we’re there…sort of. Like I said, I have time to hear myself think most days…

What a concept. Continue reading

Climbing out of the parenting pit

Every now and then, while parenting your offspring,  you might find yourself all the way at the bottom of some deep, dark pit. There seems to be no light penetrating down into the abyss and you wonder if you’ll ever find the stamina to climb back out again.

When parenting challenges you beyond what you think you are capable of, you may feel an urge to lash out at the culprits. Often the culprits are not the children themselves at all, since they are prone to picking up conflicting messages and reacting to them without the insights, or sense,  that comes with maturity. They see their world in linear terms, and you, the parent, sees beyond that immediate scope. You see a larger picture evolving and causing more confusion, which in turn affects your family dynamic.

In my experience, the culprits are often external. And we all know the world can be a confusing place. Continue reading