Glass half full

The stress is killing me.

The mirror falling on my child’s head in the ancient bathroom just started a slew of more crappy stuff going on around here. It seems like we’re in the depth of a really deep pit and desperately trying to climb out.

Time for some perspective.

Some people who have a deep faith in a type of religion will use this faith to help them gain footing at a time when it feels like the ground is shaking. I don’t have a chosen religion to rely on, but every once in a while you have to look for the little signs to help guide you back onto your path. Take today:

Driving to the first grocery store specifically for its free boxes proved to be a trip in vain as there were no boxes at that store. I got back in the car and drove to the other side of the neighbourhood to the other same type of store which had ample boxes available. I was able to shop for the few items I needed and pack them into three times as many boxes as I usually select for the simple reason that this will help propel me back to my momentum of CLEARING and PURGING this place into emptiness. (Renovations…)

As I packed my boxes with my food items, the cashier woman came over and took my package of buns and said “I noticed the register didn’t give you the 50% off sale price”. I was distracted by my boxes so I didn’t even notice it (even though I specifically picked those buns because of the sale sticker) and chalked it up to “oh well, it’s about 80 cents, it’s not the end of the world”. Well the cashier walked over to the other cash, entered it into that cash, and came back with change which she handed to me. “Here’s your money back for the sale” she said.

I thought it was a nice gesture. Sometimes, it’s the little things like that which help to tip the balance back into equilibrium.

As I pushed my cart into the parking lot, a gust of wind blew off the few empty boxes I had on top. I chased after them while an old man with a walking stick made a small movement to help me before realizing that it may not be the best idea for his own safety. I recognized the look on his face, the look of “I’d help you, but…” so I just said “don’t worry, I got it” and continued on.

He could have fallen, or worse, got hit by a car trying to chase after flying boxes in a parking lot. Sigh.

The gust of wind must have blown in some rain clouds. As I’m driving home I see the sky getting darker. Although I did have my rain coat with me, I wasn’t particularly looking forward to unloading my grocery boxes in the pouring rain. Alas, the rain held off, and just as I locked the van and entered the house with my final box, the heavens opened and it poured like a monsoon.

Made it inside just in time.

Too bad I didn’t remember that I had left the guinea pig outside earlier (he has an enclosed outdoor cage so he can nibble grass)….but even that turned out to be not a big issue, since he found a corner underneath a quick-dry blanket that allowed him to stay sheltered. He looked like he actually enjoyed watching the rain fall down…


So why am I all stressed? Well, the house situation. The meeting with the architect. Realizing that in order to achieve improvement I will have to make certain concessions. The fact that renovations are costly and that we already feel like we’re stretched to the limit. The fact that given the past week we just had, I count my lucky stars that I was around and available, as a stay-at-home-mom, to pitch in the endless kids-related stuff when DH got stuck in traffic and snowstorms. I often feel like I’m not valued for my contribution here, since so often, value is attributed a fiscal term, but once again, it’s my own perspective I have to hang on to (well, not the negative one). I value my availability…even if it’s being taken for granted by others.

Which doesn’t make it any less stressful.

So…now that the sun has come out again, it’s time to get back to my still empty boxes. Perhaps purging and cleaning out stuff around here will prove cathartic, which can only mean that my wine glass tonight will look half FULL, rather than half empty.

Broken mirrors

Yesterday morning, the already cracked and broken mirror on the ancient medicine cabinet above the sink fell on top of my 9 year old son’s head.

Thank goodness he was neither hurt, nor cut. When I think of all the blood, or worse, that could have been if that mirror had fallen at an angle…

broken bathroom mirror

Basically what I’m saying is this house is trying to kill us.

(Renovations start in January based on final budgetary calculations.)

I have had no time. I have had no desire to do anything other than feel sorry for myself. I don’t bother cleaning anymore either unless it’s a quick wipe-up or vacuum just to keep my sanity intact a tad longer, but really, the motivation about this house has left me ages ago. And after interviewing and paying for and looking at designs by two architects we finally have made a decision and I think things are going to start rolling.

Right when the snow starts falling.

Right when the regular hockey season is doubling up with both practices and games.

Right when his work is more stressful and occupying than before.

Right before Christmas.

Whatever. Frankly, moving out of here can’t come soon enough. Which just adds another slog of things to the list: get a POD moving storage bin thingy delivered onto the driveway and fill it with essential items (about 25% of what is in this house, the rest….get out of my way while I purge, people, or ELSE…) and look for an apartment to stay in for three months.

Well, then again, maybe we’ll just pitch at tent at the rink…since we hardly ever seem to be anyplace else these days. :)


Halloween candy, allergies and other preoccupations

I think most people agree that life-threatening allergies, or any allergies, are scary. They are scariest when the child is young and dependent but continues to be scary as the child grows and venture out into the world, sometimes on his own. Children with allergies have a special need of sorts, but in today’s society are somewhat protected in most public places like schools, or activity centres. The protection however is limited, as we all know. For parents with kids who suffer from nut allergies, for example, food dangers prevail through their entire childhood and beyond. One must maintain a vigilant eye at places like the rink or playground which are not necessarily designated as nut-free.

Point is, families with allergies adhere to a life of rules specific to their needs (just as families with a child in a wheelchair, or visual impairment, adapt to their own specific set of rules). Continue reading

With back to school comes the parental food preoccupation once again


Since the kids started eating lunch at school going back several years now, a favorite (and requested) packed lunch has been what you see in the above picture:

a flat hamburger bun cut in half
a slice of roasted turkey
two thin slices of cucumber in between the turkey so as not to get the bread ‘wet’ Continue reading